He didn’t trust us to deliver him to the promised land. That’s what hurts. That’s why this is such a massive betrayal.
It’s taken superhuman courage, rare fortitude, bedrock principles to do what he’s done in his career. He held on deeper and farther and more graciously than most men could bear.
Until now.
What’s it taken to stand on the Senate floor for a cause? Firm reliance. Honor. Unblinking adherence to principle. To withstand the slings and arrows aimed squarely at his head, with accusations of political avarice, was and is a zero-room-for-error enterprise. Prior to Friday, there was no doubt (from us anyway) that no political calculation figured into the good fights he chose to fight.
Until now. Now there’s doubt. Even if it’s 0.00001% it’s less than 100% now, which is what it was before (again, among us his base supporters).
“He’s hated in Washington. Sits alone in the Senate cafeteria. This isn’t politically expedient for him! Quite the opposite. It’s hard! The hardest thing possible for a Senator.”
That argument’s gone now. Now we’re not so sure. Now, when people like Brit Hume and Charles Hurt and Ana Navarro and every other pundit pundit-plops some snark it will be that much harder to tamp it down. Ten times harder to insist he’s standing on principle – or exponentially worse, not standing. I can just hear the panel on CNN or Fox: “Are we sure? Maybe Mitch McConnell won’t let him have [this or that amendment], or the RNC won’t let him have [this or that list or data].”
Reminds me of the story of the woman and a man with a fistful of cash. He keeps asking her if she’d sleep with him for $100, $1000, $10,000. No, no, no. “$100,000?” She consents. “Ok. Now that we know you’re a whore, we’re just haggling over price.”
Now every time Cruz does – or doesn’t – do something, there’s the 0.00001% bit of doubt. “Is he haggling over the price?”
I believe at one point the campaign was touting the fact that the average donation was $67. When I said at the beginning he didn’t trust us, that’s what I mean. We could make it $70. We’ll dig in the sofa and make $75. If he’d trusted us, eschewing this big donors who reportedly leaned on him for this, we’d find it. We’d dig. We’d deliver him to the promised land. How do I know? Bernie did it. If a bunch of socialists can do it, surely a bunch of freedom-loving capitalists can do it. He didn’t trust us.
All the wind has gone out of my sails. Now I feel no compunction to defend him, as I have for years. Literally years. Because now my credibility is on the line. Now I’m not so sure. Now I’m not sure what his calculations are. He’s asked us to believe in the righteousness of his cause all these years and we have. He took strength from us when he was alone. And we were glad to give it, because we had no doubt. But that’s gone now. In the last possible moment, even after that heroic speech at the RNC in July, which came after his carpet-bombing press conference the day of the Indiana primary, we’re now whip-sawed, wind-shorn and tempest-tossed. People wonder which Trump will show up to the debate with Hillary on Monday, the new & improved one or the raw, manic one. Well I don’t know which Cruz will show up now, from this day forward. The Indiana primary Cruz? Or the digital shadow Cruz? Facebook rationalizing on all cylinders?
If he gets to the nomination for President someday in the future, he will get there without me, my time, or my money, all of which I have given generously. He chose the GOPe & the RNC for practical reasons which are understandable to all, but anathema to all of us, so I will choose to listen to him. Choices matter. They are who you are. He chose them, not us. And that’s fine. I’m not bitter. I’m sad. I’m ferklempt. We could have made up the difference. We could have turned that $67 to $75 or $100. We could have done it, though hard, because he would be worth it. Because we knew he, and we, stood on the bedrock of shared principles. To mount that kind of fight, to achieve that kind of resolve and raise those kinds of resources requires a covenant of trust. Sparkling, true, enduring.
That’s gone now. In the same way socialists, upon seeing a homeless man reason they needn’t help him or give to charity because “the government” will take care of him, so too will Cruz. When he is “homeless”, alone, he has made his choice. The GOPe/RNC can sustain him, help him. In the same way the GOPe/RNC will sustain him, help him if he does somehow get the nomination for President, so too will I. I’ll vote for him, but like the GOPe/RNC who will surely abandon him when he’s alone on the side of the road to the White House, so too will I. I’ll not write another check, nor go once more into the breach for him. I don’t need to be sucker-punched but once to get the message.
I got it. “For love or money or Ted Cruz.” “Love,” the covenant of trust. From us? Or from the RNC and the GOPe? “Money,” from us? Or from the big donors? It used to be both. Because we’ve watched him for years never, ever violate the covenant of trust between us. But like your mother always told you, “It takes years to build up trust, but only a second to shatter it.”
Even if it’s only a hairline fracture, barely visible in the glass… it’s there now. And it wasn’t before. 0.00001% where it used to be 100%. He’s less than now. He’s diminished by this.
We all are.